Thursday, October 15, 2009

I Want to be....

....The Dad!!!

Yeah...I know this might sound confusing...I am not unhappy as a woman, wife or mother. I am just tired. And run-down. And a little envious of the "fun-guy, plays with us all the time" image that "the dad" seems to have.

I feel the need for a little background...LOL. I am like every other woman out there who is married, married with children, or even single. I work. Everyday. Some of you may work in the home and I don't consider that any less work than those of us who work outside the home. I teach school. And before you go saying things like, "Wow, June, July and August must be great!"---I am not done until the second week of June and we start back on the first of while July is nice, June and August are not a break...and considering I get no comp time or vacation is not as glamorous as it might have appeared before you read this paragraph.

ANYWAY...I work outside of the home. So, those of you saying, "Oh, I don't want to be the dad, because I would not be able to stay home with my darlings.", try to see my side of the story. Here is a typical day, broken down by mom's day and dad's day.

Mom--wakes up, starts the coffee, takes a shower and gets ready for the day. She makes juice cups, breakfast (HOT breakfast more days than not), gets all bags into the car, takes rollers out of hair.

Mom--making sure the son is up and getting dressed and then she fixes to-go cup of coffee. Puts hot breakfast in car as well as coffee, wets son's head to lay down the rooster nest formed during the sleeping hours, tells son five times to put on shoes, gets daughter up and carries her half sleeping, very heavy body to the car and puts her in her seat and buckles her in.

Mom--pulls out of the driveway for 20 minute drive to sitter's house.

Mom--pulls into driveway of sitter, gets daughter out and carries her inside with her bag lovingly packed the night before with clothes, and blanket for the day. Peels daughter off of me and picks up sitters two kids for school. Back in car and headed to school.
Dad--still sleeping

Mom--pulls into parking lot at work/school. Unloads three kids, walks inside, signs in, and is bombarded immediately with many requests, questions, or copies needing to be made.
Dad--just starting to stir, but still in bed

Mom--students enter the classroom and day begins...20 minutes of homeroom and reading class begins.
Dad--either eating breakfast all alone at home in the quiet or in the shower. These two flip-flop every now and then.

Mom--Ten minutes into Reading class
Dad--just leaving for work although he is supposed to be there at 8am.

Mom--Teaching 23 students with very little adult interaction/conversation.
Dad-- Working--talking with co-workers, driving to check on water tanks, water meters, water customers, writing reports, responding to email (though not to mine), answering the phone, pondering lunch.

Mom-still teaching
Dad--lunch begins---out somewhere, with buddies from work

Mom--lunch in a cafeteria with 150 loud children
Dad--still lunching with buddies

Mom--back in class teaching again
Dad--still at lunch

Mom--making copies, making lesson plans, making phone calls to parents, possibly in a meeting
Dad--just back from lunch and possibly in a meeting

Mom--teaching a second math class
Dad--coming back to building from meeting

Mom--loading kids on buses and putting kids in cars
Dad--working quietly at desk on reports perhaps

Mom--frantically wrapping up meeting or lesson planning or paper grading---checks son out of afterschool care and heads toward the sitters house to get daughter
Dad--maybe a meeting, out checking on a customer complaint, talking with co-workers

Mom--picks up daughter and heads home wondering all the way what she will fix for dinner in the short time before we head back out to football practice.
Dad--usually back in the office beginning to wrap up his day.

Mom--home, browning ground beef for tacos while listening to son read book for the night...sign the folder, read the notes from the teacher, turns on Mamma Mia for daughter to watch(don't judge me) :)
Dad--winding down and chatting with boys from work

Mom--dinner on table and saying, "Hurry up and eat. We have to leave in 10 minutes for football and you don't have all those pads on yet."
Dad--still at work....

Mom--frantically freaking out trying to get son in uniform, toys for daughter to play with at practice, drinks and snacks for both EVEN THOUGH WE JUST ATE, and getting everyone loaded into the car while ignoring her ringing cell phone.

Mom--pulls into football practice, straps on shoulder pads and grabs paraphenalia for daughter to stay occupied
Dad--just calling to find out what time son has practice tonight and to inform that he (dad) probably won't make it to practice tonight.

Mom--leaves football practice and heads home to the cries of "I'm hungry"!!!! Usually moans, growls or possibly screams at this point and then heads to a drive thru or says, "Eat something when we get home!"
Dad--at home, eating tacos in peace, playing with the cat while sitting in the recliner

Mom--home...tired...dishes in sink
Dad--welcomed home like the prodigal son...screams and laughs and hugs and kisses given and he begins to play with children

Mom--finished with dishes and laundry goes to find children to put in shower/bath, pjs, brush teeth and then bed.
Dad--begging mom to let them play just a little while longer.

(insert cross words uttered by extremely tired mom to "play mate" dad)...

I am sure you get my point....I don't want to be the dad forever, just for a day...ok, maybe a week.



  1. You just wrote what so many mom's feel like. I work at home, but daughter is in school three days a week, which means for that sole purpose, I'm in the car 2 hours each day she is in school. Doesn't include all the other errands: store, bank, po box, etc. etc. etc. But I agree that most dads get to live their day with adults and get to do most things in peace. Eating breakfast. Showering. I have an audience when I shower and have for over 4 years. I can't pee alone. I know our husband's work hard too - but I always tell my husband that after a couple days being the mom - he might appreciate more the cooked dinners, the clean clothes, made beds, clean kitchen, clean kids... He's told me many times he doesn't want my job.
    I do wonder, though, how they seem to ignore all that we have to do when we are all home together. We walk in from church and he grabs his lunch and turns on the football game - while I'm rushing around to feed the dog, pig, Bella and Scout. And he wonders why I never eat. When I'm done feeding all them - then I have to take 45 minutes to clean everything up.
    Ugh- you got me going on this one. Anyway- great post. So true. Kudos to you for all that you do. We are stronger than we know.

  2. Best post ever! I feel like this a lot. I'm a work from home mom, but a lot of that applies... Listening to whining all day while dad is either working on peace or having adult conversation. Staying in my pajamas for three days in a row because I can neither get out of the house, or get a shower while dad gets out every day and gets a warm shower in peace when he gets home. I could go on :)