Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Make You Feel Good Blog Hop

The letter below was not written by me. It was written by my friend Donna after a morning of trying to put on a Slim and Lift.

Don't know what a Slim and Lift is? It is one of things that is supposed to suck you in and make you look 15-20 pounds lighter....it was around before Spanx....and this is Donna's version of trying to put it on after I convinced her to go buy one! :)


Morning,

I have listed instructions for putting on your Slim and Lift that were
obviously left out of the box and should not have been-

First- Cover all mirrors and remove all children who may be grossed out
by this picture. (Be sure the baby is fed as it may be 30 minutes
before you are done putting on your Slim and Lift)

Second- Stand near a secured piece of furniture ( Secure
means it should ideally put bolted to the wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) because once this
"rubber band" is around your ankles and not yet above your knees you
only have about 3 inches of balancing room between your 2 feet. These 3
inches are not enough to balance your "larger than desired body" and
you may fall head first onto the floor. This may take SEVERAL minutes
to get this rubber band above the knee so hold tightly to the secured
piece of furniture.

Third- Once the silhouette is above the knee - GOOD LUCK from here!
Even if you are as strong as an ox, you will need even more strength to
pull the elastic piece of cloth above your thighs (all while holding on to
your secured piece of furniture). This may require the upper body strength of
the Incredible Hulk!(if you don't have enough strength you may need to ask for
assistance at this point but this may take an additional 5 minutes
because your new assistant will need to laugh his or her butt off
first).At this time, the baby may need to be fed while your
new assistant laughs because you still have a lot to accomplish.

And Fourth- Once this nice silhouette is above your rear - you will need
still enough strength to continue up your belly. At this time you will also
need to be pushing your skin down into your “Slim and Lift” as you pull up.
(Now you see the reason for removing the small children from the room.)
You may need your assistant here as well.

Oh and I forgot - put your socks on before you put the Slim and Lift on
(which only adds to the nice picture for your assistant) because you
will have no upper body strength left with which to pull them up your leg.
There is also the added bonus that all the fat you pushed into your “Slim and
Lift” has nicely settled around your ankles!!! Bending over, or even slightly
bending at the waist is a waste of time…don’t try it-your body can’t move.
When you get into your car, be sure to recline your sit somewhat, since bending is
not an option!

Well . I have laughed all morning at myself about this garment and just
wanted to "share the joy". Hope you are having a good day. This Slim
and Lift actually does help my stomach but I am honestly not sure if
blood can circulate from my lower body to my upper body. My right hand
is tingling and I think it is because the blood pumping from my heart
can only shoot across to my right hand because the elastic piece of
material right below my heart is too tight to let the blood through. So
if I pass out - take my doctors this e-mail. I will talk to you later.

Sincerely and Skinny,
Donna



Happy Hopping-
paige



MckLinky Blog Hop

3 comments:

  1. That definitely gave me a laugh.

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  2. Why do women have to go through this???? Haha. Hope your blood starts circulating soon :o)
    And since I read your comment, I so want me a pumpkin spice latte. Right now. At bedtime. Mmmmmm :o)

    ReplyDelete