Friday, January 1, 2010

Consistency

I do NOT do New Year's Resolutions.

I just want to make that clear upfront.

Mainly, I do not do them because I am often so discouraged by January 10th that I lose all hope in myself and I spiral downhill on a collision course with failure for the rest of the year.

Ok, so maybe that was a bit dramatic.

I always tend to have the same resolutions anyway. Lose weight. That is usually my only true resolution...oh, I may throw in there something like "Get Healthy" or "Exercise for health, not weight loss", or I may even go crazy and say, "Go Green." But what I really mean is "Lose Weight." And, then I don't.

I put it off because summer seems so far away. Then it creeps closer and I am too lazy to attempt anything so I just give up. It seems easier. And at the time, it is. It is easier to continue to lay on the couch as opposed to changing clothes and kicking butt with some cardio and weights. But it is not easier when I hit summer and feel very uncomfortable with myself; very self-conscious.

Part of this stems from something in me that I can't define that would rather give up than fight through something difficult. I don't know where it comes from, but no form of motivation can spur me on when I have taken on this mindset. I am not proud of it. But sometimes, I can't fight past it either. It is a feeling that is overwhelming and it so consumes me that I would rather put my head under the covers and hide than try to claw my way out.

I have never responded well to ultimatums. I can be undone by what I consider a rude or judgemental comment. I do not respond positively to shouts of anger or screams by a "trainer" of some sort to make me improve whatever it is I am working at. It could be my job as a teacher, or my job as a mother, or my job as a wife, or my endless attempts at running.

I have a family that runs. My dad was in the Army and ran everyday of his life for, like, forever. I have a sister who married a guy in the Army and they both run almost everyday. I have another sister who has a trainer and she tells her what to do and running is one of those things. And then I have a brother who is 26, so he is young enough to do anything physical, including running.

I hate to run. It may be because the first race my dad entered me into, I came in dead last. And when I say last, I mean last. The only thing behind me was the ambulance. Or it may be because I run slowly and so everyone was always way ahead of me and then they did this annoying "let's run in circles until she catches up" thing and that just made me mad. Or maybe it is because it hurts and I don't have the fight in me to push past the painful point so I can enjoy that runner's high. Yeah...I have NEVER felt that. I cannot imagine what it could possibly feel like because I get sidelined by the chest squeezing pain that screams, "JUST STOP YOU IDIOT!" So, I do.

When did this become a post on running?

Anyway, that "easy to give up" attitude has always blown my resolution making clear out of the water.

So a friend of mine on Facebook made the comment yesterday, "So, what will your word be in 2010?" Some people responded with funny things like, "maid-hiring" and some with funny but emotional comments like, "crashlessness" (that was from her husband who happened to be on the plane that emergency landed in the Hudson River). But all of the comments had me thinking. Maybe I could do a word.

I am not good at resolutions (read "many words"), but maybe I can do a word.

So I thought long and hard (well, really, it popped right into my mind after only about 5 seconds)...consistency.

con-sist-en-cy  /kənˈsɪstənsi/ [kuhn-sis-tuhn-see]
–noun, plural -cies.
1. a degree of density, firmness, viscosity, etc.: The liquid has the consistency of cream.
2. steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form, etc.: There is consistency in his pattern of behavior.
3. agreement, harmony, or compatibility, esp. correspondence or uniformity among the parts of a complex thing: consistency of colors throughout the house.
4. the condition of cohering or holding together and retaining form; solidity or firmness.

I am going to have more consistency in all areas of my life. Consistency is not a set goal, a number to reach...it is a sticking to the course...and so that is my word. Consistency.

I don't have all aspects figured out yet, but I am working on it. However, I think it may be harder to attain than some of my past resolutions have been...but I am forging ahead. 2010 will be my most consistent year ever.

What about you? Do you have a word?

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1 comment:

  1. I'm not a runner either. Period. Not sure if you saw my tweet to you on twitter about your word, but I heard a wonderful woman of God say, In consistency lies the key. They key to success - especially in the things of God! Isn't that wonderful? Great word.

    I don't have one, but three:

    live.on.purpose.

    Bring it on 2010!

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