What? You didn't know I was gone? I guess this is just for my mom then! :)
I have been slammed with "stuff". Not material stuff, mind you...I am not drowning in things like those very sick people on the nasty, gag-inducing show Hoarders. We have just had SO much going on and I am so exhausted by the time I get home that I don't even turn on my computer! (GASP)
Most of the time when I am too tired to write at night, I get up early in the morning and write my blog. But I have even been too tired for that!
I would like to explain to you where I have been.
Beginning Monday, April 12, I spent every single night of the week at the ball park. EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. I am tired of the color of infield dirt being all over Caroline's face even when she has not played a game. I am tired of batting cages. I am tired of being the (not so good) catcher for the family batting practice (and by family, I mean Will and Caroline). I am just tired.
Now, as if that was not bad enough....Will entered into a batter's slump. Yes...he IS just 7. No, I was not worried about this when it first happened. But Will started to get upset and then Mark started to stress because he couldn't fix it and then I started to lose it. I did not care that Will was striking out--let me rephrase--my child does not have to be a superstar for me to be a proud mom and I told him I would love him regardless of whether he hit the ball ever again--but HE strives to do his best all the time--a trait I would NEVER try to do away with--and so it stressed him out. Which then, stressed me out.
As if that paragraph above was not enough, Will said to me last Thursday on the way to his game, "Mom...I am going to be like Facing the Giants and win or lose, or hit or no hit, I am going to praise God." I almost crashed the car. Not out of surprise...Will is very tenderhearted like that, but rather because I could not see through the tears. I immediately began to beg God not to leave him high and dry at the plate that night but to show him just how powerful He is. And you know what?
He did just that. Will struck out. (Stick with me here...) Every time up to bat. He was upset. He said to me, "I asked God to help me and He didn't. Why not?" I could not even speak for the lump in my throat. In the car on the way home I reminded him that he said hit or no hit, he would praise God. And he said, "Why should I pray? He doesn't listen. And He sure doesn't answer me. I can't ever hear Him."
Hello!! You know what...? Those were the same questions screaming from my head at that very moment so I had no advice for him. And that is where God showed up. I called in the troops and had everyone praying for Will. I got wise counsel from a very Godly man who said that sometimes lessons are taught and sometimes they have to be learned. I immediately began begging for a QUICK lesson. For all of us. Will got down on himself, and I had to talk to him about the fact that maybe God was giving him empathy for people who struggle more with things than he does. He understood it as well as a seven year old can...and then asked if we would take him to the batting cages! :) We worked with him whenever he asked us to and tried to be encouraging. All the while, I was dying inside...wondering when in the world this "lesson" would end.
I am happy to report that Will is hitting again...he went three for three Monday night at his game. He bounced up to me after the game with a smile on his face and said, "Well, it is coming back to me...but I am not there yet. Gotta keep practicing, right?" So, I guess the lesson continues...with some sweet moments to savor thrown in there to keep this weary momma from a complete mental collapse. And to bring a smile to a sweet seven year old's face after his game as he thanks God for his hits and prays that the player on the other team that got hurt recovers quickly.
Maybe the lesson was for me all along...I hope, for Will's sake, that I have learned what God is trying to teach me through this. Because we have another full week of ball park bliss! :)