The pull has been so strong that I couldn't resist it anymore. I love that my God is like that. He lets me wander away because He gives me the choice of what to do--but then He draws me back because He loves me and misses fellowship with me. I love that I am worth His pulling. I try to resist it sometimes, but eventually, I let my pride crumble around me and I run back. It has been that kind of time for me. He has enveloped me with His love and shown me His power and might and wisdom and grace and mercy.
I prayed on my way to church Sunday for God to confirm to me what He has been saying to me. I don't usually do that--ask God to show me a sign but I was desperate for one Sunday. And I told Him that on my way there. The anticipation I felt made it almost hard to breathe. The pastor started his lesson (Jeremiah 29:10-14) by asking 2 questions: "Is Jesus the answer? Is Jesus enough?" My heart started thumping so loudly I just knew everyone around me could hear it.
He then said something to the effect of: The God of all creation is here in our midst. He is here now--can you feel Him? I could...and I didn't want to move. Almost like moving would scare Him off like a frightened butterfly. Then my pastor asked us: How Desperate Are You? I almost fell over. I smiled thinking that the God of the universe knew I was desperate...knew I would tell Him that on my way to church...and placed that EXACT word into the sermon that morning. He is in the details. It was like He nudged me with his holy elbow and said, "Told you I was right here."
He is teaching me how important I am to Him. I don't mean that in a proud way--I am not putting myself on a pedestal. But, I think I missed that course somewhere along the way. He doesn't NEED me to do His work here--His power is great enough to complete His mission without me. But He wants me in the middle of it. He wants to bless me more than He has and in ways I cannot even imagine. I am important to Him. And I am here, now, for such a time as this. I am His daughter, His princess. I am royalty.
And so are you.
And all we have to do is give Him everything. He will treasure it, and He will bless us. His peace will wash over us. But we have to be desperate enough. Are we? Are you? Am I? I find myself coming back to this Selah song and crying out to God with the lyrics. Are you desperate enough to join me?
"10 For thus says the LORD: After seventy years are completed at Babylon, I will visit you and perform My good word toward you, and cause you to return to this place. 11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the LORD, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive." Jeremiah 29:10-14