I do not, however, believe I draw on its power and might like I should. I have no reason for this except ignorance, perhaps.
But this weekend we had a guest speaker at church who spoke about getting right with God and praying...REALLY praying for the things that God lays on our hearts.
But he made a huge distinction between seeking God's hand (asking Him for things) and seeking God's face (desiring an intimate relationship with Him). I do not know if this is an issue for you...seeking more His hand than His face, but I dare say for me that it has been.
I don't ONLY seek His hand--I felt like I needed to say that probably just so you don't think I am shallow follower of God--but I do believe, more often than not, that I don't seek HARD after His face. Oftentimes it is because I don't know how or I don't have a "tool" to use that plans it out for me.
Our speaker talked about praying to really root out the sins we have that we have confessed but not repented of...habitual sins. I never like that deep scrutiny but I knew it was time. So Monday morning I picked up that cheat sheet card he gave us and started reading through the questions...a long time later I was done. Man, I do a lot that does not please God!!!! In seeking Godly advice, someone told me to pray that God would lead me to take that first step toward Him and He would reveal where and when that step is to take place. He would show me the areas of my life I needed to work on. You know, when you pray specifically, He answers that way!
The next morning I did not want to be a shallow seeker of His Word, but I knew just reading my small daily devotion wouldn't cut it either. I prayed. Seriously asking the Lord to tell me what to do. I had to wait...but not long. He clearly and distinctly laid on my heart this: "You are getting ready to be involved in leading a study on James...read that book, the whole book, this morning." I thought that was a great idea so I did.
Umph! I got it right in the gut. Talk about a list of sins to choose from. As I read through the book of James, He told me--my speech and my attitude need lots of work. I see those of you who know me well are smiling. I am not proud of these two areas, but He is right. I don't know when I began thinking that saying exactly how I felt would be OK (probably since birth) but I am on restriction from that now. :)
I truly feel as though I may have to become a mute in order to make this right before God but by golly I am going to do it.
After revealing to me those two distinct areas, I was thanking God for being so real and for truly showing up for me. He didn't leave me wondering what I should I read and He didn't leave me wondering what I should focus on...and then when my specific time with Him was done and and I had to go to work, He showed just how into the details of my life He is.
I got into my car and turned on my iPod to play whatever song was next. The title of the song starting was..."May the Words of my Mouth". Seriously. Here are the words:
May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus
For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You
Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first of my heart
I will follow
I will follow
I will follow You
With such amazing grace and mercy, my God met me this morning right where He already knew I would be and He told me, in no uncertain terms, I love you Paige and I am going to help you become all I want you and need you to be.
I am definitely a Face-Seeker now...He showed me just how amazing it can be and I desperately want to see more!
What about you? Still going to seek His hand or are you ready to seek His face?